What a Girl Wants

What a Girl Wants (un-edited)

By: GC

Girls love tacos, dogs, and margaritas. Girls love meat, intimacy, and things that are sweet. Yes these sentences are synonymous and tell you exactly what a girl thinks rather than says.

Girls love tacos. Am I the only one whom when searching through a dating app finds a common thread among what girls write in their bios? It’s always some pretty girl, who has at least one bathing suit picture, and she’s asking you to take her out for tacos. Now when I say girls love meat that can be taken in many different ways. What I’m saying here is that girls love substance. They want to know that you have something going for you. That you’ve got a job, that you’re important, and that you can care for her. A job is easy and if you don’t have one, you have more problems then just finding a girl. You may think being important would be a challenge but what’s interesting about that is it doesn’t have to be something like being famous or having tons of money. It can be as little as you volunteering at a shelter and being important to the people you serve. It could be that you received a promotion at work and are moving up in the ranks at your company. However big or small the importance may seem, it will make an impression on the opposite sex. And of course she wants to know you can take care of her. This kind of plays into the whole job thing but it does go a little further than that. She wants to know you’ll stand up for her. If the guy at the bar hits on her, she wants to know you’ll be there to stop it. Girls love meat...a lot!

Dogs are man’s best friend. That use of the word man there is of course mankind. Women tend to gravitate to these pets just as much as men do. Girls love the companionship they receive from their ‘fur babies’...I just died a little saying that. Gavin McInnes, blessings be upon him, has said that women treat their dogs as their babies. Why is this? Girls receive an intimacy from pets that is very unique and reveals yet again the desires they possess. These women obsess over their ‘babies’ showing us men over and over again a collage of pictures staring the preverbal ‘Mr. Chuckles.’ Girls want intimacy. If nothing else they want to put a collar around your neck and pet you. I guess that’s what bedrooms are for?

Have you ever had a girl ask you if you want to get ‘margs’? Lord it makes me want to throw up in my mouth. The old trope that girls only want the bad boy is for when they’re young and not looking to settle down, but when the time comes she’ll be looking for a guy that’s sweet. Maybe that’s the last thing you want to hear though. You don’t want to be sweet. That’s for pussies! Well you don’t have to stop being a man. You’ve just gotta be ‘sweet.’ See, wheat, eat, ears, tea...no wait that’s not it! I meant to say see, weed, eat, edibles, too! She’s just looking for someone who will be kind to her. To treat her like a good friend would. Obviously little bit more than a friend, but I think you understand what I mean. You want that too. A person you can laugh with and love. Someone you’ll get to know for the rest of your life. They like ‘em sweet!
So next time you see a girl post, say, or otherwise elude to the fact that she loves tacos, dogs, and margaritas just remind her that she loves meat, intimacy, and things that are sweet. Also remind her to stop saying that. We get it! You really like Rusty’s Tacos, ‘fur babies’, and ‘margs’ you sound like a stroke victim!...or maybe just don’t say anything at all, girls don’t like to be made fun of. Guess that’s why I’m single.